A tale of two bios: HOW TO TELL A GREAT STORY

Writers often hear the advice, "Show – don't tell." With that in mind, I pulled together two bios to show you how I view the difference between boring, jargon-filled writing versus compelling storytelling.

The first is a composite of a couple of bios that I found on the websites of prominent companies; the names and identifying details have been changed.

Stephanie baker, VP OF MARKETING, STELLAR SOFTWARE

Stephanie Baker, Senior Vice President and Chief Marketing Officer for Stellar Software, is responsible for providing strategic direction for Stellar’s products, solutions and services and presenting the Stellar brand worldwide. Additionally, she oversees a number of operational units including Marketing and Product Management, Alliance Sales, Channel Marketing, Employee Wellness Services, Education, Human Resources, Professional Services, and Publications.

She is also a member of the Stellar Operating Team, which drives the company’s global business performance, and the Stellar Technology Team, which drives the company’s technology and product roadmap.

Leveraging her past experience, Stephanie pushed the company to be more customer-focused. She helped lead the transformation of Stellar from a tools provider to the software solutions provider it is today. She has done so by building particular industry expertise into Stellar's product management and product marketing teams, which research the market and partner with R&D to leverage customized solutions for each industry. 

Stephanie has overseen a dramatic increase in Stellar’s profile.

Whew. Stephanie has clearly had a distinguished career, but do you come away having learned anything about her that will stick with you?

The second bio is one that I wrote for a client using details from a "40 under 40" award nomination profile that we worked on together (he was selected for that award, by the way).

Again, all names and specifics have been changed for privacy's sake.

MICHAEL SMITH, FOUNDER/VP, DESIGN

When he was growing up, Michael Smith was fascinated with taking complicated tasks and figuring out how to make them easier. These days, that problem-solving fascination is fueling a successful design career.

Michael began making his mark in San Francisco after driving across country in a restored VW bus with his pet gecko, Truman, very little money, no job and no place to live. 

Fortunately, SuperSmartSoftware, an up-and-coming start-up, was looking for people like Michael. They hired him, and he quickly became design lead for several of the company's best-selling products.

In 2002, while he was working on a graduate degree, Michael co-founded Cool Widgets, a design firm. What began as a two-person operation is now one of the most highly respected firms in the Bay Area.

Michael’s ability to design and deliver engaging interactive experiences has brought him plum assignments for American Express, Electronic Arts, Boeing and Microsoft. Cool Widgets has just been honored as one of Startup Mania magazine’s 100 Best Companies, and Michael was named a Top Young Entrepreneur of 2012.

Talk to Michael about his education background, and he’ll tell you he was lousy at taking tests and had mediocre GPAs but managed to pry open many doors – including the one to the prestigious, highly competitive Columbia School of Journalism – through hustle and persistence.

Throw his innate talents into the mix, and you have a skilled, passionate entrepreneur, community leader and colleague.

THE TAKEAWAY

Both Stephanie and Michael are accomplished professionals, but I believe Michael's story will stick with you more than Stephanie's does. I also believe it gives you a much better sense of what it would be like to do business with him; his bio gives you clues about what he is like on a personal level rather than just listing his business experience and accomplishments.

You always have to consider your audience, and there may be situations where it might not work to have a bio quite as casual as Michael’s is. But even when you can’t talk about geckos, road trips, mediocre GPAs and unemployment, it’s wise to use a little color, warmth and conversational style in the stories you tell.

THE bigger picture

The copy you put in a bio, an "About" page, a LinkedIn summary or a social media profile should be more than a recitation of past jobs or a rehashing of popular buzz words used by many, many other people and companies. No matter what you’re trying to get across about yourself or your company, nonprofit, product, service, cause, etc, you gain no advantage from content as boring, generic and stiff as Stephanie’s bio.

(A word of caution: Colorful doesn't mean over-the-top. You don't have to make up clever titles – Customer Intelligence Guru – or make every line hilarious unless you know for a fact that your target audience is looking for that.)

In short: Tell a great story, and people will remember you long after they have forgotten the competitors who are drowning in jargon-filled boilerplate.

The cool gecko image above is courtesy of the New York Public Library digital collections.